Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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