One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
