Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
