do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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