His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
