Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize