You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
