also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize