Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
