Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize