too bad you live with your parents still
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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