Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
