I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
