the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I wish there were birth control emojis
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
