Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
