He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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