I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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