In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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