Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
