whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
