Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
