someone threw a dead crab at me
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
