thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
