when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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