FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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