we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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