I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
