Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
