I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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