The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
