shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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