my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
