We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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