Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
