the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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