I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
