Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
