i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
