i barfeds in our rink
You smell like stripper and shame
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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