she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
