i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
