Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize