Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
