they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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