Girls should come with a carfax report
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
