Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
