This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
