Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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