I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
