My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
