ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
