i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize