:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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