A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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