Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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