I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I supernannyed him into submission
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
