UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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