I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
