when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
