I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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