just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
