Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
