you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
