both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize