Whatcha textin bout Willis?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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