I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
