if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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