Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
