You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize