he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize